Melonius Thunk

(Happy) Thursday Thoughts

 

  
 
   
 
 A few things that make me happy today: 

1. Blue skies

2. Riley & Dusty

3. Pre-Derby buzz

4. Lunch with friends

5. Bricks-and-mortar bookstores

6. Creative thoughts

7. Fresh air

8. Planning vacation

9. Porch swings

Happy Thursday to you, too!

Designing My Life

Today I ran across this guest post on Makeunder My Life: Designing A Life with Intention.  The post is from Ann of Glamourshoes and talks about how she designed her life through various stages of her life.

As I was reading, it struck me how relevant Ann's process is to where I am in my journey.  I'm stuck in that "What do I want to do when I grow up?" question.  And what to do about it -- the "Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum.  One of the basic building blocks boils down to the choice between letting life happen and intending your way through what presents itself and intentionally designing the life you want and intending your way toward it.

I've had this debate before and wrote about it back in October (here and here).  I'm trying to listen more to my heart this time around.  To not over think things.  To be open to what the world has to offer...

Yet, it makes perfect sense that knowing myself and what energizes me will be essential to hearing my intuition and recognizing the universe's offerings.

Which brings me back to Ann.  As I was reading her list of what her new dream looks like, I found my self saying "Yes!  Me too!"  So I think I'll use Ann's list as a jumping off point for my own dream:

What does my dream career look like?

• It will engage my creativity
• It will allow me to make my own hours -- flexible
• It will make me smile
• It will be positive and uplifting
• It will feed my spirit -- personally fulfilling
• It will include meaningful interaction with others
• It will be financially profitable, but work that I would do even if I didn't get paid

What an awesome list if I do say so myself!  Reading this list makes my heart happy.  I'm setting my intentions not on a particular "job" or "career" but rather on these elements.  I cannot wait to see what the universe may present!

What does your dream life look like? 

Rx Laughter

I awoke at 7:30 this morning feeling better than I've felt in ages.  No alarm - in fact, I did not have a clock in the room - just the sun streaming through the windows.  And even though I'd only had maybe 6 hours of sleep at the most, I felt completely rested.

Those of you who know me know that waking refreshed is, unfortunately, a very rare occurrence.  For years I've suffered from periodic bouts of severe insomnia - difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, fractured sleep . . . .  Add to that a severe case of sleep apnea* and you've got a very tired Melony.  In fact, waking up more tired than when I went to bed the night before is an experience with which I am all too familiar.

So when I awoke feeling like a hundred bucks this morning, I was pretty much beside myself.

Perhaps laughter really is the best medicine!

Yesterday I met up with my college friends Sarah and Greta in Cincinnati.  We had a nice dinner at Teller's in Hyde Park and then went to the Amos Lee concert at 20th Century Theater.  Sarah and I saw Amos Lee at 20th Century a couple of years ago and that concert still ranks as one of the best I've ever seen.  Last night's concert was another great one.  We had great seats in the balcony and by-passed the standing-room-only lower level.  (Thanks to the theater seating in the balcony I will refrain from bemoaning the perils of being over 40 at a standing-only venue.  Lucky me, lucky you!)

We had a great time at the concert.  Even had a few good laughs courtesy of Lynette and John, the 50+ recently married couple sitting to Greta's left.  It took Lynette a good 30 minutes to figure out which of the 3 guys on the stage was Amos.  And another 10 minutes to realize she was wrong. 

But the real laughs were had back at Sarah's house when we commenced with good old fashioned girl talk.  We laughed until we had tears running down our faces and trouble catching our breath.  The belly-aching type of laughs that hurt in a good way.

I am convinced that the good clean fun and genuine laughter are what allowed me to awake well-rested and in high spirits.  Which leads me to believe that having fun isn't a treat to dangle like a carrot at the end of a hard week a la "You can have dessert if you eat your cooked spinach and brussel sprouts."  I'm adding "have fun" to my list of daily requirements for good health.

At long last, healthy lifestyle changes I can get genuinely excited about!

P.S. - If you're asking "Who the heck is Amos Lee?", you can sample his music here.  He is awe-some!

* Sleep apnea is a very common chronic sleep disorder in which breathing stops during sleep.  It is a serious disorder that, if left untreated, can result in dangerous health problems such as hypertension, heart disease, and obesity.  Sleep apnea can usually be treated effectively and easily.  Although snoring is perhaps the most commonly recognized symptom of sleep apnea, not all sleep apnea sufferers snore.  More information on sleep apnea is available here.

Oops, I Did It Again!

Have you caught onto my routine yet?  Blog a while.  Stop.  Blog a while.  Stop.  Repeat.

Why do I do it?  Why do I inevitably drop off the blogosphere from time to time?  It's certainly not for lack of something to say.  Actually, the opposite is much more likely -- I have so much to say that I just can't spit it out.  So I just stop.  For a while.

But I eventually return.  As I am doing today.

So, what's been going on these last few weeks?  Well, lots!

 I cleaned out my closets . . . 
 

 . . . and attended my 20th college reunion.
(That's me, second from the left, acting silly!)

This week I've had a case of the stomach flu.  Lucky for you there are no pictures of that to share!

I've also been doing a lot of volunteer work for the Crescent Hill Art & Music Festival that will take place in my neighborhood over the July 4 holiday weekend.
 
I guess I have been pretty busy.  But as I'm writing this post, it occurs to me that I haven't created anything or really engaged in active creativity lately.  Not good!  But a good reminder to make time for the juicy stuff.

Hmm.  What sorts of creativity will I get into next?  I'm not sure, but seeing Ashley's quilts over at Film in the Fridge makes me want to learn to quilt!

Patchwork Squares:

 Boots for Elephants:

 
Front

  
Back

Animal Sherbert:
 
Front

 
Back

I absolutely love that she puts thoughtful detail into the backs as well as the fronts.  Bravo!

I may have to fire up my new sewing machine . . . .

 

Tuesday Toss 3-16-10

 

My friends call it my uniform:  black pants and a sweater twin set.  The twin sets were the focus of my purge today as I needed something quick and easy to tackle.

With their snags, holes, and such, they're not in the best condition.  Definitely not fit for donation.  And yet they've been hanging in my closet all cozy with my wear-ables.  I don't know why it has taken me so long to sort and toss the sweaters . . . .  Procrastination I suppose.

The stack may not look like much, but it's a good portion of my twin sets.  The best part, though, is that before this process I was planning to order some new twin sets and I don't think that's necessary now.  So I've saved myself some money in the process, too!

Even though they are in ill repair (and not worth repairing), I still hate to toss them into the trash to ultimately end up in a landfill.  I've racked my brain for a crafting project so that I could repurpose them, but aside from the buttons (which I will keep) I haven't come up with any good ideas.  If they were wool sweaters I could felt them and make some fun accessories like Shannon did here.  They're cotton sweaters, so that's not an option.  Someone else suggested I make "yarn" out of them like this "yarn" made from t-shirts, but I don't knit or crochet enough (or well enough!) to use them so I'd just be shifting from one useless pile to another.

I think I'll sleep on it tonight -- just in case I am blessed with divine inspiration via my dreams.  Otherwise, it looks like they are destined for the dump.

The De-Cluttering Dance

   
"Those" Items

I'm pondering two openings to this post -- both will wind their way to the same ultimate message about my quest to de-clutter, simplify my life, and purge the items that no longer serve me in functionality, beauty, or joy, in order to make space for the creative joyful life that awaits -- but they get there from different directions.  So take your pick!

Intro Option 1:

If you've read my 25 Random Things note on facebook, you already know that I LOVE art (Random Thing #13) and that an artist's attitude is a major factor in my appreciation of his or her artwork (Random Thing #14):

13. I love art. Love, love, love it. L-O-V-E love. With a capital L. All kinds – visual, music, theater, dance – if it is art, I can appreciate it even if it isn’t my style or cup of tea.

14. An artist’s attitude is an important factor in my appreciation of his or her art. If an artist has an ugly attitude, I lose interest in his or her art – no matter how beautiful or intriguing I might have initially thought it to be. For example, I bought a couple of cool pieces a few years ago directly from an artist at a charitable event. I later read some really nasty comments he made about the charity and event. I’ve disliked those art pieces ever since and have never displayed them.

Well, I stumbled across "those" items last week while working in my basement and set them aside for the Out pile.  I brought them upstairs to my entryway because I wanted to offer them to a friend who is staging her home for sale.  And that's where they sat when my grandmother arrived for her weekend visit.

Intro Option 2:

If there's a gene for collecting, hanging on to the tired and obsolete, and struggling to let go of the "stuff" in life, then I've got it!  And I got it honestly -- from both my mother and my maternal grandmother! 

Some of the challenges I've faced so far in my SHEDing efforts is letting go of the things that don't serve me but were given to me by people I love and care about.  Hurting feelings.  Disappointing others.  And regret -- or rather the FEAR of regret in the future for letting something go today.

So while I was very excited for my grandmother to visit this weekend, I was also a bit apprehensive that she wouldn't approve of what has landed in my Out pile.  Granted, most of the pile is in the basement and she doesn't go to the basement, but some of it is in plain view in my main living space.

Take, for example, the vase and mirror I purchased at a charitable event a few years ago but which I have never been able to enjoy due to some nasty comments the artist made after the fact about the charity and event.  Yes, an artist's attitude is integral to my appreciation of his or her work.

Well, I stumbled across "those" items last week while working in my basement and set them aside for the Out pile.  I brought them upstairs to my entryway because I wanted to offer them to a friend who is staging her home for sale.  And that's where they sat when my grandmother arrived for her weekend visit.

After the Intro:

My grandmother happened to notice the vase and mirror sitting in the entry way and she was very interested in them.  "Where did you get this pretty mirror?  When did you get it?  It is so pretty!" and the like.  Then she saw the vase and made similar comments about it and about the two pieces together, including "You could hang the mirror on the wall and put the vase underneath."  Yeah, well that was my original intent....

So I tried to explain to her that I'd had the pieces for several years but just couldn't enjoy them.  I told her the story about when and where I got them and the artist's comments that ruined them for me.  And I told her they were on their way O. U. T.  To which she replied with numerous reasons why I couldn't get rid of them.

Yes, NaNa, they're very nice.  But why would I want to hang onto them when I get that icky feeling looking at them?  And if I don't want to see them, why should I continue to allow them to live rent-free in my basement -- taking up space and weighing me down -- when they aren't supporting me or contributing to my creative joyful life?  She just kept saying that they were too nice to purge.

The real kicker, however, was that my grandmother could not understand why I could not enjoy these items today despite their history.  Haven't I gotten over the artist's attitude by now?  I managed to change the subject somehow, but my mind was still there.  And my internal dialog was getting really interesting!

Admittedly, when I look at these pieces today I do not feel so icky.  The negative reaction is still there, but it's not nearly as strong.  Could I learn to love them again?  If I had them out where I would see them everyday, would the negativity wear off?  Would I catch myself genuinely enjoying them without even trying?

And then there were the "who am I to judge this artist?" thoughts.  I mean, his comments were his own.  I didn't have to internalize them or take them on myself.  Maybe he was struggling and needed my empathy rather than my disdain.  Oh that's it!  I should feel guilty!!!

I was being lured down a dangerous path!  I even started thinking about where I could display them!

Breathe, Melony!  Breathe!

Fast forward to today.  I'm looking at my vision map for my space and several phrases are jumping out at me:

Live With What You Love.

a simpler life

Feel joy.

Space to Be

Ah-ha!  It doesn't matter how much I did like, might like in the future, or do like these pieces today.  Or even how much I paid for them.  If they don't contribute to my creative joyful life, they do not belong.

Do I Love them?  No.

Do I feel joy when I see them?  No.

Does their presence contribute to a simpler life?  No.

Do they give me space to be?  No.

After viewing these items through the filter of my vision map, I can now say - with confidence! - that they really do belong in the Out pile.  No hard feelings, no guilt!

Tuesday Toss (3-9-10)

Today's SHEDing efforts focused primarily on my kitchen. 
Here's a sampling of the toss/recycle/donation/yard sale bounty:

 

1 Popsicle Mold
1 Pair of Old Shoes
2 Candles
2 Jars
3 Empty Wine Bottles
3 Telephone Books
4 Old Mugs
---------------------------
16 items

The popsicle mold seemed like a good idea last summer, but I wasn't that fond of the Crystal Light pops.

Yes, even the old shoes were in the kitchen.  Strange, I know.  If my memory serves correctly, I kicked them off beside the refridgerator to dry after a (muddy) trip to the dog park.  That was over a year ago!

The candles - one orange vanilla and the other vanilla spice.  Both smell nice, but I don't need any food smells enticing my appetite.  Besides, I have way too many candles and several that I enjoy more than these two.

I've been holding on to the empty wine bottles thinking I'd use them in some re-purposed manner.  Cut the tops off and use them as glasses or vases?  Cut the bottoms off and use them outside to keep candles from blowing out?  As they are as candle holders a la intimate Italian restaurant ambiance?  I have no plans to do any of these things in the foreseeable future, so they went into the recycling bin.  (Besides, there's always more where they came from!)

Two of the telephone books were outdated.  The third was one of those "fake" yellow pages deals.

I've had 3 of the 4 mugs since college.  I don't remember the last time I used them.  And I needed their space on the shelf to house my super-duper Oxo salad spinner!

My goal was to find 10 items to purge today and I ended up with 16.  Not bad!  There were other items that went straight into the trash can or the recycle bin, but they didn't warrant counting.

Happy Tuesday all!

I'm A Weirdo. What About You?

Do you have a love/hate relationship with the qualities that make you uniquely you?  Do you (or have you) ever struggled to fit in and be accepted?  Then this post from Charlie over at Productive Flourishing is for you!  Charlie's post expresses very eloquently a challenge I am learning many of us have faced -- how to be true to ourselves and embrace our uniqueness while still fitting into the world around us.

As many of you know, I am on a journey to reconnect with my soul and discover the career that not only utilizes my unique gifts but one about which I can genuinely say I am passionate.  While many people have been nothing but supportive, some just don't get it.  I can understand (sort of) the folks who think a job is a job is a job. They are content  - their jobs supply their basic needs.  It's the ones who say things like "But you are so good at what you do -- I just don't understand why you aren't happy."  Charlie captured the heart of the matter in his post:

And since you’re hiding your true gift, it’s hard to be passionate about anything else. Sure, you can be good at something – maybe even better than anyone else you’ve met – but you know you’ll never be great at it. You want to care, but there’s a big difference between wanting to care so that you can get the approval of others and caring because it’s your thing....

That's exactly how I felt.  I worked so hard at meeting society's definition of success (without realizing I wasn't being true to myself, actually) that I found I was not passionate about anything.  Not really passionate anyway. 

Now I need a plan for uncovering my passions, my heart's desires.  Leaving the law practice was an integral first step.  But that's sort of like packing your bags, gassing up the car, and leaving on vacation without a plan for where you're going.  I'm not looking for a specific itinerary here, but I am starting to think a little general direction could be helpful.  Even something as simple as heading West -- I can take any path that looks appealing, travel at my own pace, stop anywhere along the way to take in the sights, stay as long as I want to stay, and I can end my trip anywhere that feels like my destination (whether it be San Diego, Seattle, or Montana).  Or maybe I decide that West really means East for me.  All of that is a-okay.  As long as I am traveling and I keep moving forward.

 
(Photo credit: geology.com)

Unlike a road trip, however, this journey of personal discovery is more esoteric and difficult to navigate.  I sort of feel like I've been sitting in the passenger's seat waiting to go somewhere.  It's time to take the wheel and start rolling! 

Onward and forward, my friends!  I'll see you on the road!

P.S. - If you haven't met Charlie over at Productive Flourishing, let me tell you:  you are really missing out!  Stop what you are doing - now - and visit Productive Flourishing.  You'll find a wealth of information and tools to help you accomplish your Big Things without selling out along the way.

Friday Exfoliation SHED!

My uber-organized and energetic friend and neighbor, Tara, has been lending her sorting talents to my basement SHED project.  We worked together for 1 hour on Wednesday and 1 hour on Thursday and have accomplished more in those 2 hours than I could have imagined possible.  All for the cost of a coffee and a bagel at our neighborhood coffee shop, Nancy's Bagel Grounds.  You can't beat the price!

I've made several trips to the recycling station and I have a massive SHED pile in the basement that is destined for a Spring yard sale and/or charitable donation -- and it's still growing.  I'll post some pictures of the "Out" pile later; but for now, I offer you this photo of a stack of out-dated travel books and a box of old paper files -- mostly law-related stuff! -- that I fed to the recycling dumpster yesterday:

Woo Hoo!  What a feeling!

I'm divesting myself of a lot of stuff in this project.  Stuff just the presence of which weighs me down.  And getting rid of the extra weight is very freeing.

Remember, this exfoliation SHEDing project is not just about de-cluttering or organizing.  There are many differences between organizing and SHEDing.  One of the differences Julie Morgenstern offers in her book When Organizing Isn't Enough SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life has special meaning to me at this stage in my career journey:

Organizing is about identifying what's important to you and giving yourself access to it.  SHEDing is about getting rid of the old and obsolete so that you can have space to discover what's important to you.  (p. 11)

This box of legal career related stuff is particularly significant as it is yet another manifestation of letting go letting go of my old career in favor of the new and yet-to-be discovered.  (There will be more, trust me, I just haven't gotten to those boxes yet!)

I'm off to a great start of SHEDing (thanks Julie!) and Making Under My March (thanks Jess!) and am happy to share with you this small portion of my Makeunder Step Two:  Exfoliate Stuff exfoliation!

Stay tuned for more freeing exfoliation SHEDing!

Simplifying My Life and Creating My Space - My Vision

Just the other day I read the introduction to Julie Morgenstern's book When Organizing Isn't Enough: SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life and was struck by how directly it applies to me as I continue the journey to whatever lies ahead for me.  To wit:

"Organizing works when you know where you are going but don't know how to get there. But when you are feeling stuck in your life, when you are in transition and unsure of where you're going next . . . organizing is not enough."
...
"When you need or want to change something about your life, when you are going through a transition and are struggling to relinquish something that represents the past, you don't need to organize - you need to SHED."

Julie goes on to explain that "SHED is a transformative process for letting go of things that represent the past so you can grow and move forward".

How uncanny is that?  I took this huge leap last Fall in leaving my law practice to pursue my place in the creative world and yet I'm feeling stuck lately.  It's not so much that I'm holding on to my law practice (although I do have a couple boxes of books and materials I will go ahead and toss).  No, it's bigger than that.  I don't pretend to know exactly what's holding me back, but my physical space is anything but conducive to the creative process.  And I do have a lot of "stuff" weighing me down.

Fulfilling my vision of my personal space is going to require some sweat and probably some tears, too, as I have a lot of stuff I'm tied to emotionally - and only emotionally - that probably needs to go in order to achieve the space that I crave AND to be able to move forward on my journey.  I must say -- just thinking about it makes me more than a bit anxious.  Stay tuned, this topic is to be continued....

[Watch Julie's video about SHED-ing here.]

I've also been following a couple of bloggers on their journeys to de-clutter and simplify their lives in 2010.  The two I am primarily following are Reduce Clutter Create Space from Shannon Kinney of Free Spirit Knits and Jess's Makeunder My Life.  Today, Jess introduced her Makeunder My Marchseries and re-posted her 4-step make-under process, which appears to tie in nicely with Julie's SHED process.  [You can read about the 4 steps here: 1 Create A Vision, 2 Exfoliate Stuff, 3 Identify Intentions, 4 Reflect and Evolve.] 

Now that's a lot to take in at one time, but I was inspired to create a vision board for my personal space, my home:

Isn't it beautiful?  And it really does summarize my vision for my space in 2010:  Uncluttered, organized, simplified, stress-free, revealing space to create and be joyfully me.  Sounds Heavenly!

I've already started chipping away at my road blocks, too.  Yesterday I cleaned out the inside storage space of my coffee table.  Today I spent about an hour in the basement vacuuming up the dust and debris that tends to accumulate in the most ignored room in my house.  So I'm off to a good start taking baby steps -- even though these tasks did take more than 20 minutes a day!