If you've read any of my early posts, you know that I'm in a period of life transformation. I left my legal career of 14 years on September 30 to pursue the creativity that lives within my heart. To say that this move was difficult or scary is an understatement! But I know it was the right decision.
I don't know yet where this transformation will take me. I have no idea what my next career might be. Yet life is in the living, not the final destination.
One of my first steps on my new journey is simply to engage in creativity and connect with other creative people. So when my friend Courtney posted on Facebook that she needed artists to decorate hearts for a charity auction to benefit the Calvary Episcopal Church Food Pantry, I immediately said I'd be happy to decorate a heart. Of course, I couched that by saying "I'm not an artist per se, but I'd be happy to help". Thank you, Courtney, for taking me up on my offer - little did you know the growth opportunity you were providing!
I had a hard time deciding how to decorate my heart and actually changed my mind several times. A lot of fears and insecurities arose in the process: would my heart be too "crafty" and not "art"? what if no one bids on my heart? oh my goodness! there are "real" (professional) artists participating! and so on.
I don't know why this vulnerability surprised me. After all, insecurity is what led me to a career as an attorney in the first place. And here insecurity was again - this time chipping away at the purity of the creative process. A couple of times I got so wrapped up in the end result that I got frustrated and discouraged and almost lost sight of the process - the juicy part. So I acknowledged my feelings of insecurity - after all, this is the first piece I've done for public consumption - and reminded myself that my goal was just to have fun with being creative. Once I let go of trying to make something that would please others, I created a heart with which I am very pleased. AND I had fun doing so.
That's not to say my insecurities are resolved or that I no longer feel vulnerable. I'm still plenty vulnerable! But I now see the gift that I've been given with the opportunity not only to indulge my creativity, but to step outside of my comfort zone, to claim my creative spirit, and to share my spirit with a small portion of my community. Now that is growth!
The auction is next Tuesday, November 17. I've already got a few butterflies in my belly and I'm sure they'll have more friends joining them as the auction draws near. And yes, I'll be a nervous wreck on the 17th. But that's okay. Because I'll be growing. And growth is good.
Happy Creating!
~ Melony
Your bold shift in careers is inspiring! I will be following you to see how this journey progresses for you.
How cool that your first art was a heart... me thinks there is a lesson there! ;-)
Many Blessings!
Posted by: Shannan | Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 03:12 AM
As I noted before...your heart is beautiful and thanks for sharing your story. I think many have gone through the same feelings and me included! It's funny how you could have done so many great things in your past career but something new suddenly catches you off balance! Insecurities and worries rush back, like when you were a kid and a bit afraid of trying something new. I think it's totally normal, but everyone finds their own way. You do your art because you feel from the inside, so definitely go for it! All the best to you and looking forward to seeing more of your work. You are the right that connecting with folks and we have a great community online - really helps!
Posted by: linda | Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 04:23 AM
Shannan - Thanks! And thanks for pointing out the significance of the heart being my first "official" project. :o)
Linda - I really appreciate your words of encouragement. It is so rewarding to follow my heart instead of my head for a change. You are right - the art I do comes from my heart. I may not master any particular genre, but for me the creative process is what really matters. I'm so glad I stumbled upon the on-line network of creative souls!
Posted by: Melony | Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 08:34 AM
I admire your strength and courage in taking this leap. You are so right about needing to make art for ourselves and not worrying about pleasing others with it. Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your words of encouragement:)
Posted by: Bobbi | Friday, November 13, 2009 at 10:54 AM