"Those" Items
I'm pondering two openings to this post -- both will wind their way to the same ultimate message about my quest to de-clutter, simplify my life, and purge the items that no longer serve me in functionality, beauty, or joy, in order to make space for the creative joyful life that awaits -- but they get there from different directions. So take your pick!
Intro Option 1:
If you've read my 25 Random Things note on facebook, you already know that I LOVE art (Random Thing #13) and that an artist's attitude is a major factor in my appreciation of his or her artwork (Random Thing #14):
13. I love art. Love, love, love it. L-O-V-E love. With a capital L. All kinds – visual, music, theater, dance – if it is art, I can appreciate it even if it isn’t my style or cup of tea.
14. An artist’s attitude is an important factor in my appreciation of his or her art. If an artist has an ugly attitude, I lose interest in his or her art – no matter how beautiful or intriguing I might have initially thought it to be. For example, I bought a couple of cool pieces a few years ago directly from an artist at a charitable event. I later read some really nasty comments he made about the charity and event. I’ve disliked those art pieces ever since and have never displayed them.
Well, I stumbled across "those" items last week while working in my basement and set them aside for the Out pile. I brought them upstairs to my entryway because I wanted to offer them to a friend who is staging her home for sale. And that's where they sat when my grandmother arrived for her weekend visit.
Intro Option 2:
If there's a gene for collecting, hanging on to the tired and obsolete, and struggling to let go of the "stuff" in life, then I've got it! And I got it honestly -- from both my mother and my maternal grandmother!
Some of the challenges I've faced so far in my SHEDing efforts is letting go of the things that don't serve me but were given to me by people I love and care about. Hurting feelings. Disappointing others. And regret -- or rather the FEAR of regret in the future for letting something go today.
So while I was very excited for my grandmother to visit this weekend, I was also a bit apprehensive that she wouldn't approve of what has landed in my Out pile. Granted, most of the pile is in the basement and she doesn't go to the basement, but some of it is in plain view in my main living space.
Take, for example, the vase and mirror I purchased at a charitable event a few years ago but which I have never been able to enjoy due to some nasty comments the artist made after the fact about the charity and event. Yes, an artist's attitude is integral to my appreciation of his or her work.
Well, I stumbled across "those" items last week while working in my basement and set them aside for the Out pile. I brought them upstairs to my entryway because I wanted to offer them to a friend who is staging her home for sale. And that's where they sat when my grandmother arrived for her weekend visit.
After the Intro:
My grandmother happened to notice the vase and mirror sitting in the entry way and she was very interested in them. "Where did you get this pretty mirror? When did you get it? It is so pretty!" and the like. Then she saw the vase and made similar comments about it and about the two pieces together, including "You could hang the mirror on the wall and put the vase underneath." Yeah, well that was my original intent....
So I tried to explain to her that I'd had the pieces for several years but just couldn't enjoy them. I told her the story about when and where I got them and the artist's comments that ruined them for me. And I told her they were on their way O. U. T. To which she replied with numerous reasons why I couldn't get rid of them.
Yes, NaNa, they're very nice. But why would I want to hang onto them when I get that icky feeling looking at them? And if I don't want to see them, why should I continue to allow them to live rent-free in my basement -- taking up space and weighing me down -- when they aren't supporting me or contributing to my creative joyful life? She just kept saying that they were too nice to purge.
The real kicker, however, was that my grandmother could not understand why I could not enjoy these items today despite their history. Haven't I gotten over the artist's attitude by now? I managed to change the subject somehow, but my mind was still there. And my internal dialog was getting really interesting!
Admittedly, when I look at these pieces today I do not feel so icky. The negative reaction is still there, but it's not nearly as strong. Could I learn to love them again? If I had them out where I would see them everyday, would the negativity wear off? Would I catch myself genuinely enjoying them without even trying?
And then there were the "who am I to judge this artist?" thoughts. I mean, his comments were his own. I didn't have to internalize them or take them on myself. Maybe he was struggling and needed my empathy rather than my disdain. Oh that's it! I should feel guilty!!!
I was being lured down a dangerous path! I even started thinking about where I could display them!
Breathe, Melony! Breathe!
Fast forward to today. I'm looking at my vision map for my space and several phrases are jumping out at me:
Live With What You Love.
a simpler life
Feel joy.
Space to Be
Ah-ha! It doesn't matter how much I did like, might like in the future, or do like these pieces today. Or even how much I paid for them. If they don't contribute to my creative joyful life, they do not belong.
Do I Love them? No.
Do I feel joy when I see them? No.
Does their presence contribute to a simpler life? No.
Do they give me space to be? No.
After viewing these items through the filter of my vision map, I can now say - with confidence! - that they really do belong in the Out pile. No hard feelings, no guilt!
